Closing Time
Aug. 28th, 2002 12:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blacksquirrelYea, how late capital do I feel, expressing myself through an over-commercialized top 40 song? Oh, well.
But really, It feels like I'm once again closing up this life, this personality. I think that I'll leave her a little happier than the last time I slipped her between books and CD cases, sealed her in a sea of packing peanuts. I think this BlackSquirrel is better off now than she was then. I feel more content and confident. It is becoming easier to be silent.
I'm saying goodbye to everyone and as the fall blows in, its taste and smell teasing around the edges of every breeze, I keep thinking that tomorrow is never a promise. Looking in the eyes of good friends, feeling like this could be the last goodbye, the last hug, I feel reckless, like I should take the big risks and say those difficult words. It, of course, doesn't mean as much if someone says them first. Words like "I love you" don't mean nearly as much if you're not the first one to the linguistic finish line and, as in the band camp clean dorm contest, there are no silver sponges in this event. "I'll miss you" doesn't even come in a close second.
So, here I go again.
Ironic that, despite a sincere desire to be known, I don't make a very good clickable person.
But really, It feels like I'm once again closing up this life, this personality. I think that I'll leave her a little happier than the last time I slipped her between books and CD cases, sealed her in a sea of packing peanuts. I think this BlackSquirrel is better off now than she was then. I feel more content and confident. It is becoming easier to be silent.
I'm saying goodbye to everyone and as the fall blows in, its taste and smell teasing around the edges of every breeze, I keep thinking that tomorrow is never a promise. Looking in the eyes of good friends, feeling like this could be the last goodbye, the last hug, I feel reckless, like I should take the big risks and say those difficult words. It, of course, doesn't mean as much if someone says them first. Words like "I love you" don't mean nearly as much if you're not the first one to the linguistic finish line and, as in the band camp clean dorm contest, there are no silver sponges in this event. "I'll miss you" doesn't even come in a close second.
So, here I go again.
Ironic that, despite a sincere desire to be known, I don't make a very good clickable person.
